Hello All! UPDATE 2nd Nuelasta Injection

Hello all! Just had to pop in and say hello! It has been a bit since I have posted. All is ok. However have not been feeling up to par but can be expected. Just shows that the Chemo is kickin'! I had my Neulasta injection today and well, it is already rearin' it's ugly butt on me and giving me the headache, bone aches and muscle pains! Darn stuff! But I thank the Lord for it and for the people who invented/discovered it! Sometimes I think it is worse than the chemicals that they give me for Chemo then again not. The worst side effect of the Chemotherapy for me is the "Chemo brain" not the nauseau! Can you believe I am in more of a fog than usual!!! LOL Really it is bad at times... I have tried driving lately not- I was afraid to before because of the way I felt but thought well I'll try it... Not a good thing let's see I have locked my keys in the car, forgot to lock the door with the keys in the car, left the lights on and ran down the battery (still do not know why I had the lights on it was 1:00 in the afternoon!), and shopping at the grocery store well, I make some really impulsive buys... Still get the headaches, dry mouth, I also get the shakes A LOT... Real figidy also (but that's me too) LOL! I ramble a lot too LOL just kidding!!! No, really it just makes me feel not myself then to make matters worse than not feeling yourself I look in the mirror and am like WHOA who's that woman? It is scary and I do get depressed at times! Still am unable to find that perfect wig! Guess I have to break down and get another fitting and spend some money and then have it styled to suit me! I promise I will get the video and/or pics up of me with no hair. But, still feel a lil' uncomfortable. I feel funny too going out in public, I feel like everyone is looking at me and going "why is she wearing a wig?", I would go bald LOL (I do at home at times) but do not want to scare the kiddies out there. The wigs are HOT also! Really HOT & itchy!!! I will get over my insecurities I am sure in time THIS is still all to new for me now. I am just getting started but I know deep down that I will be wonderful and stronger when it is all over... I feel this is a learning experience in more ways than one. I love you all and will post again soon...

XOXOXXOXOOXOXOXOX,
Deanna

COMING SOON: My fears, feelings and frusterations!

Me & Daddy Fighting Cancer Together!

What a team!!! WE CAN AND WILL DO IT!!! KICKIN" CANCERS ASS TOGETHER!!!

Dylan & Mommy Pretty in Pink with me beautiful Pink Camera

This is Dylan and mommy with the BEAUTIFUL & WONDERFUL Pink Camera from her Beautiful & Wonderful - NACM family who she dearly misses, loves and cherishes!!!
Thank you all so much you are the best!
XOXOXoXOXOXOXoXOXo
Deanna

Reality Kicks "IN" as hair starts to come "OUT"

Hello all once again... Well, today the hair is really starting to come out! Realty is starting to kick in a little more. I am finding it every where from the back of the pillow to the banana pudding on the stove! Need to start really looking into the wig, scarf and hats now I guess... I did purchase a wig from ebay (you know me I can resist a bargain) it is a really nice wig however it looked a little darker than what it actually is! It has a lot of blonde highlights in it to where, well it is almost blonde. I am actually afraid of washing my hair! It is weird my scalp actually hurts a little almost like a tingly sunburn. I can run my fingers through my hair and get about 10-15 hairs at a time. Eyebrows and lashes still holding in there... Wow, I still can not believe that I have the big "C" word! There are times that I am still like "this is all to unreal"... But, I will hold my (bald) head high, I can and will get through this but really the only time that I truly hurt (the chemo, the injections, the pokes, the needles, the baldness that is nothing really) is when I look at my kids and what they think or have to say to their friends "My momma has cancer" or how they feel "How long will she be around for me?" I tell them and have always told them every day how much I love them and how special life is and not to take advantage of life and the things and people around them, to treat everyday as if it were their last or the person/people they love's last, not to grow up to fast, just to enjoy... I guess my main worry is them and will always be them. I just want to let them know that their mother is a tough cookie and if I can handle what I have handled in life so far well then I can handle this thing they call "cancer".

Happy Times!

Happy times! Yes, truly happy times!

Me and my pearls at Old Town

3/18 Hair Today - Gone Tomorrow!

Hello everyone... Well, today was a good day-I felt pretty good! However yesterday when I woke up I had a terrible headache and then once again this morning a headache not as bad but my scalp felt as if were sunburned thought oh no what next-I should have learned by now for all who knows me not to ask that question so, as I got ready for my appointment my scalp was just very tender. On my way to my 10 o'clock appointment I rubbed my head and well lo' and behold well there was hair (not a massive amount but just enough to call Emily and tell her the daily update) I knew this would happen they told me but I once again had another wake up call. I still am unable to believe that I am going through this. At times yes I get depressed but just try to keep a stiff upper lip and keep my head high! But am starting to get a little down now the whole hair thing is starting to kick in. But like Emily said to me "Mom I would us rather lose your hair - than to lose you"! What a smart girl / woman I have raised... My whole life has changed drastically lately that sometimes the realness kicks in! I am always grateful for you my wonderful family and friends. God bless you all!

My Friday Night Nuelasta Nightmare!

Hello All... Well, Friday night was a rough one for me. I had the effects from the Nuelasta injection (Neulasta® is a prescription medication that is licensed to prevent infections due to chemotherapy. By binding to stem cells and stimulating the production of certain white blood cells, the drug can help prevent bacterial, viral, or fungal infections. Neulasta comes as an injection that is given once per chemotherapy cycle. Possible side effects of Neulasta include bone pain, headache, muscle pain, and joint pain) that I had on tuesday - I thought "no side effects yet from that stuff - guess I am one of the lucky ones" 43% for pain and another 79% for the spasms or something like that - that do not experience the pain and muscle spasms... N O T!!! Me lucky? LOL Only with the friends and children that I have... Well it did finally rear it's ugly head from 2:00 a.m. - 5:45 a.m. I had to call the on-call Oncologist to tell me which pill(s) I could take and how many! The pain was worse than labor for you momma's out there and well for you men hmmm let's see how to describe labor ok take your top lip and try to pull it over your head! The pain was in my lower back and would thump thump thump with my heart beat and with each thump it would travel down to my hips and then to my legs!!! What a night. I took as prescribed 1 muscle relaxer, 1 Advil gel cap @ 11:30, and by by 5:00 could not take it anymore and called the emergency line and was told to take 2 Percocet, 1 more Flexeril along with 1 more Advil! I was out like a light! But man what pain. The cure for cancer I have learned hurts more than having it and the surgery! But man did I sleep hard! However Sarah had a ball game that day (we won - the score was a lot to a little I do not remember the exact number=SUCKY SIDE EFFECTS again LOL). Along with the racing thoughts and as you can see run on sentences... Better go for now.

My Milkshake

This is my best friend Deanna she is drinking a milk shake and as usual making me laugh. I miss her already! She and Hoops (her husband) were great therapy...

THE TRYING ON OF THE WIGS!

http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?source=ppsl&instanceid=105872199

Me and my new do!

Ugh what a picture!!! I had my haircut on 3rd! Chemocut! lol.. I like it though-it is cooler and easier to do! (NOTE: the port! A necessary-accessory is what I call it!)

03/11/08 For today

This pic taken the previous Saturday@ Cassadega
they look like their Mommy!

Hello all! Just sitting here once again at MD Anderson, 5th floor. Today is my Iron Infusion and my bi-weekly nuelasta injection. Here is how my day began... I had Dr's appointments starting @ 8:00, saw the Oncologist, 2 nurse practioners, credit/billing office, schedulars, another credit/billing lady, lab work, went up to see my father on the 10th floor, more lab work (thank goodness for that port), had to eat (some foods and drinks really taste bad to me and/or taste like metal!) and well here I sit eating chips, 1/2 chicken sandwich, apple/grape drink (usually my favorite but tastes like a battery would taste if we ate them... A little boring but savoring the peace and quiet. I am not used to my "me time" as of yet. I have been told to take the time to relax and sit still for once still adjusting to that. They will be giving me something they said that will relax me-here she comes right now... Yawn... (ok just woke up to Emily standing over me!-so glad she came) Dad is in the hospital still and is recovering pretty good. We were all a little worried there since he has lost a lot of weight (he is down to like 152). Thank you for reading up on me-I miss all of you (family & friends) Better go! Have a blessed day!

Deanna

My first day!

On my first day of chemo the doctor gave to me...
Hello all! Today is my first day of getting Chemotherapy.. Everything has happened so fast! But I am here and I know all will be good. Feeling pretty good mentally-however this back & neck pain is just terrible! A lil' sore still in the right armpit due to the lymph node removal and on the right from the port site... However mentally I am doing pretty good. As I mentioned above today is my first day of Chemo (wish I could have taken a pic but I will soon) I will be taking a pic @ a later date. Dylan & Michael are down stairs and let's get started on my day today:

Arrived at the Breast Care center to see Dr. Nikita Shah @ 8:00 as my schedule said but guess what that was rescheduled (no one told me!), anyway came to the 5th floor at MD Anderson, the nurse gave me a tour of the place, I was set in a room with 2 other people (room can accomodate up to 4-but if your lucky sometimes you may get a private room), I was given some juice (yummy Grape & Apple my favorite mix), the nurse "Mary" sprayed some spray on my port to numb it-it was really cold like freon, drew 5 vials of blood for blood work, they must do this to check all your blood counts, in order to see how much and how your doing before the Chemo treatment... Then I was given the go ahead for Chemo, Iron and white blood cells were still a lil' low but said that I should be ok... I was supposed to be given the Iron and white blood treatment first, but you know me I get and do everything backwards! I even did the surgery procedure in reverse (surgery then all the labs, xrays, procedures)! That is me one of a kind... Anyway I was then given a pill to help with the nausea "Emend", an drip in my IV for nausea also "Aloxi" and a steroid "Decadron"... Then the Chemo! One is red really red and one is white-and I am wearing blue (very patriotic today). I was given tons of paperwork, with instructions on meds, some snacks, juice, a lot more info on all that I have to look out for, and a lady just came in with a Labrador Retriever named "Susie" she is a cancer survivor also in remission for 4 years now! She has a "Bark Strong" yellow collar bracelet!!! TOO CUTE! Anyway all, I will keep you updated as much as I can - if not Emily will do so for me! Thank you all again for everything! God Bless!