Hello All... UPDATE May 31, 2009 - TIC TOC TIC TOC what is that button like spot?

Hello to all!!!

On Friday I had some xrays done and a doppler of my arteries in my left arm and left extremities... I have had swelling in my left arm, aching in my hips that is really starting to annoy me, severe pain in my right thumb and well, just not feeling up to par... I have made myself get up and move around because of the children and family things... However at times I just lately want to stay in bed... The mornings and nights are worse for me and I spoke with the Doctors and they ordered tests. So, now on to that (Damn A D D chemo brain) but when the xrays were done on the hip and pelvis the technician asked me a few times "are you sure that you do not have any buttons or snaps on your pants and/underwear? " I was like "um, no... WHY?" The reply "well, we see a spot on the film"... So, now of course that moment is stuck in my head - keeps replaying over and over again... And another thought too - METS... TIC TOC TIC TOC goes the clock... = waiting on results...

NOTE TO SELF:

Stop searching the d&*! Internet for possible reasons why and what the spot could be! I know better! I really do but

another note to self: LISTEN TO SELF...

I know that it will be nothing

and well damn it if it is

"I CAN HANDLE IT"...

One more to go!!!

Hello All... Me again better late than never! I have been so busy with - well "living"!!! Day to day chores, raising my children, focusing on what is - what could be and what will be!!!

Yesterday was my second to last treatment!

It has been a long journey! Five surgeries, chemo since March 4th 2008, many treatments - but I am here - thank you Lord I am STILL here...

A lil' video of my second to last treatment! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!

Today is the first day in a long time that I did not have my lil' man with me! He spent the day with Emmy & Tom and went to SeaWorld!!! I have such a wonderful daughter and wonderful son in-law!!! I could not ask for any better!!! I love them so much and cherish everything about them!!! So, cheers to them and a BIG thank you for spending the day with Dylan so, I could spend a lil' time with the other children - even though I had to sit through a Hannah Montana movie... LOL shhhhhh guess what I kind of enjoyed the movie ok I lie it was pretty good!!!

Hello All...

Hello all! It has been a while since I posted! SO SORRY!!! But have been very very busy. Still having a hard time with my chemo brain! I hope to goodness I am not stuck like this! I have never suffered as bad as I do now with ADD seriously no kidding!!! I pray that this goes away! I hope this finds all of you well and happy! So, much has been going on lately and well, I still worry all the time. So, many people that have been close to me and some just acquaintances have passed hmmm let me see - in the last 10 months there have been so many people (9) that I either was close to or acquainted with that have passed away. So, I do worry about the people that are close to me CONSTANTLY! I seem to not be able to realize and get in my head that well, life is life and this is what happens. But there have been some that to me it was NOT there time. I do and I know that I should not question God however I do question why. I tell myself that I should learn from everything that goes on around me, live each day fully, I try my best but end up getting caught up in the daily activities, I would not call it a rut anymore though. I know a lot more now than I did before, more spiritual, more aware of the little things around me, happy to have my hair blowing in the wind, watching the sky, remembering how it felt to be young, a lil' girl, a teenager, looking at my children and watching them grow, and remembering I must teach them and have them learn from my mistakes and giving them ALL my love when I can, telling them and savoring every moment with them! I want to make sure that when my time does come (and it WILL be at least 40 more years from now) that there are no regrets, I told the people around me how I feel about them, they have wonderful memories of us together, my children learn from me, I did what I could do to help others, I want pictures of every single moment (I wish that there was a video camera taped to my forehead so I could savor every moment-I think this is why I take so many pictures now!) Anyway... enough of that!
I had my reconstruction and it was not bad. Not too much pain! Still a lil' sore because I did not listen and do what I was supposed to by not lifting and using my arms. But, slowed down a lil' lately and they are healing nicely. Miss my original ladies though!!! Please EVERYONE learn from me PLEASE savor every moment, seize the day - the moment! Do not take things or anyone for granted and if you do just stop and start all over! You can not take back time! Time flies by so fast! OH SO FAST!!! CARPE DIEM