Hello All... GOOD NEWS!!!

TODAY-TODAY I HAVE GREAT NEWS- My CT scan came back NEGATIVE!!! The nurse read it to me it said "normal scan with / without contrast - scan shows the normal brain of a 40 year old woman" lol what's that supposed to mean!!! LOL... I do not care it was normal!!! I am normal!!! Now I just need to get a hold and put a stop to these headaches that I have had since Christmas!!! But anyway HURRAY... HURRAY... HURRAY!!! No more worrying about my brain!!! Worrying that the cancer spread there... Can't take that out to prevent it from spreading there. LOL so, anyway just wanted to blog about this GREAT NEWS!!!

xoxoxoxoxo,
Love you all, Deanna

Hello all... Hysterectomy!

Hello all! Well, I am here at Winnie Palmer Hospital

(just yesterday we were at Chuck E. Cheese celbrating Dylan's 3rd Birthday!!! God bless him!!! He is such a joy and keeps me going!!!-will post pics and blog about this later!)

(beautiful it was almost like staying at The Hilton - LOL)

(this is a picture of my bathroom - check out the swans)

they have a concierge where they can come and give you a pedicure, massage, manicure. I have a beautiful room with a view (no more womb with a view though-LOL meds are talking now) I could see downtown and the citrus bowl!!!

I had the complete hysterectomy yesterday morning at 10:30 a.m. surgery lasted around 3 hours, my surgeon is wonderful Dr. Jessica Vaught

http://www.orlandohealth.com/MDAnderson/OurTeam/OurTeam.aspx?Wid=6&Pid=773#V-Z she does the less invasive technique and is one of only a few that uses the daVinci® robotic Surgical System http://www.davincisurgery.com/index.aspx... Well I will blog later not feeling to well having a reaction to something my face and lips are red, burning and swollen possible a delayed reaction from the anesthesia so they are keeping me to observe me a lil' longer... I will take some pics soon when I feel better... (UPDATED SEE PICS ABOVE)... love you all

xoxoxoox,

Deanna

HOPE ENDURES...

I recently heard this song by Natalie Grant thanks to Michelle a sister blogger and here is what I picked up from her... And as her I could also I ever identify with the lyrics!
It's called "Our Hope Endures"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1mu3F0dQz0

I too think the words to this song are particularly important to remember....
Yes we are never alone.
God truly is always with us!
Let's all remember this!

Hello all...

Hello all...

An UPDATE

Well today I was laid off along with 4 others... I understand I do. I will miss everyone...

The other day I got the last few cc’s that Dr. could give me in my expanders and well the tata’s are full, hard and ready to be swapped for the implants (this is scheduled on April 7th. They still do not look right to me, they seem mis-shapen and scarred. I really wish that I could have kept my real ones but I know deep down that they are just decorations but I do not feel like me… I just want ME back. I want my job back. I want us back.

I have heard and read many blogs of my beautiful pink sisters and they have also said the same thing “ I WANT ME BACK! “ I want my headaches to stop, I want money back into my savings, I want my energy level back, I want normal days, I want to stay positive, I want to stay around at least another 40 years, so I know that I have made the best decision in having the mastectomy, I know that change IS good! I know that cancer is a word not a SENTENCE… But the word will ALWAYS haunt me. I will always wonder if, when and where it will return… It has caused so much. Do not get me wrong GOOD things have come from cancer. I am trying to live my life as I have always taught my children. I have a different outlook on little things that happen. However I still worry about every little thing (that reminds me I have my hysterectomy scheduled the day after Dylan’s birthday – Monday, February 16th, at 8:00 a.m. Winnie Palmer Hospital). I worry that I will not be here, I worry, I worry, I worry. I worry about my children and what they have in store for their future, I worry about my future, I worry about my parents, I worry about my grand-parents, I worry about what will happen when my chemo is over and all the surgeries if I will get my job back, I worry about providing for my family, I worry about my house being messy, I worry about the stuff that needs to be fixed around here, I worry about paying the bills, I worry for my children, I worry already for my children’s children… I worry about my headaches! I worry about worrying LOL.!!!
I feel that sometimes my worries consume me. PHEW ok I vented…

I love you ALL!

xoxoxoxo,
Deanna

Hello all...

Hello all... Starting (or going to try to start) something new. A "What I'm Thankful For" and at times "For Today"!

So...

Today is February 2, 2009 and I am thankful for...

My Family, rides on trains, shopping and eating ice cream with my kids, sliding down the McDonalds slide with my lil' man, challenging Michael to Gallaga, coming home and finding the house picked up by the teens, friends stopping by and plans for a girls night out on Friday, ping-pong, Austin for teaching Sarah ping - pong, Susie and Kevin parties, Theresa and Erik's grapefruits, Donna, Chad, their boys and knowing that when I can go back to work and/or when the economy gets better that I WILL have a job!!! I am thankful for another day, I am thankful for TODAY...

For today...

I look forward to the end of May when the last of my intensive cancer care will be complete!
I look forward to hopefully this Friday!

xoxoxoxo,
Deanna