Hello All

Just a note... Doing really good! A little no very tired. I have came so far! I am feeling pretty good and happy that the treatments are getting closer to the end every day and knowing that I am getting better. Found out today though that this current round of Chemo is almost over and the last day (the fourth treatment) is the last day of Cytoxan and Adriamycin. However, starting in a couple of weeks I will do a weekly chemo treatment (taking 3-4 hours again) with a chemo cocktail of Taxol, Herceptin and something else for another 12 weeks! Then get this (I do not remember this being told to me) but apparently I will also have to do a round of chemo not sure what type of chemo cocktail as of yet but it will before 9 yes NINE months!!! WHAT!?!? I told them that I did not remember being told this but that I remember being told ok 6 months of chemo, 12 weeks radiation and then 5 years of a hormonal treatment... Now, I am being told this other... Emily will be coming with me to my next appt. with Dr. Shaw (oncologist) I hope, to make sure that I am understanding everything. Also, get this I have to do a genetic screening to see if I have some gene and if I do well it will be suggested and most necessary to have a hysterctomy and a masectomy! OK, I would like to get everything in order. I need to make plans, know what is ahead of me... I NEED TO KNOW... Ok starting to stress out here! CONFUSED! Will get everything in order by next appt with Emily by my side!

Questions for my Blog Readers!

Hello Blog Readers!

Well, so far how have I been doing with my blog? Please leave me a comment, ideas, what you would like to see, or just say hi... Just curious to get your opinion.

XOXOXOXO,
Deanna

#3 Treatment UPDATE

I am happy to report that treatment #3 went very well. Nausea was kept to a minimum however a little more than the last 2, even though the chemo dosage has been upped I was worried, rest was kept to a minimum too lol(Unable to sleep I have drank enough Chamomile Tea to put the whole Dallas Cowboys to sleep lol it is one of the side effects), terrible heart burn today too, and just real tired after not going to sleep til' 3:45 a.m.! Hope it is not another restless - sleepless night! So, anyway I just wanted to blog to say that I believe that all of you intervened on my behalf with your positive thoughts, prayers, and amazing support! Thank you & I love you all!

XOXOXOXOXOXO,
Deanna

Deanna's TOP 11 BENEFITS OF NOT HAVING HAIR! plus 1

My Top 10 Benefits of not having hair!

11. An extra 45 minutes of not having to get ready to go somewhere...
10. Less time in the shower = water conservation
9. No time consuming trips to the salon mean more free time to shop for wigs on ebay with Emily!
8. No expensive hair products means more money for really good coffee gotta love that Starbucks and for Teavana!
7. I could wear a different color hair everyday and not damage my own hair
6. No more bad hair days (only bad hat days)
5. No worries of hat hair when I take my hat off
4. It is easier to spot the family resemblances to my father
3. No one has to guess which of the Stooges I am trying to impersonate
2. When it grows back I’ll actually know my natural hair color
1. AND THE #1 reason is having your lil' one kiss you on the head while he thinks you are sleeping and to feel his lips, hear the sound of the smack and well the slobber helps to remind you too... Oooh got another one... I can really belt out the song "I'm to sexy for my hair" and make my lil' Sarah smile...

3rd Chemo Treatment Blog...

Hello all. I am here, I am focused, I am dedicated, I am hard-headed I will win and beat this thing (demon) they call Cancer...

Well, today is my 3rd treatment and time has just flown by. The only thing that I have accomplished is getting better, slowly re-evaluating my life and the peoples lives around me and well how to tie a cool t-shirt turban! Today so far I was given a shot by port of ativan while waiting for my lab report to come back in which it did (I was a little anemic but not by too much so all is ok so let the games begin) so, anyway I can now take my Emend 125mg Capsule, and will be getting an iv drip of Decadron (is used for nausea and to decrease swelling of tumors/cancer) and Aloxi (used for the treatment of nasuea) all that stuff plus the other 4 things that I have to take at home for the nausea-seems like all that stuff would make you nauseas... LOL I am in a shared room today with 3 other chemotherapy patients so of course today would be the day that I forgot my earbuds so I could/can listen to my meditation cds. I will be doing and trying everything to get everything normal again and to heal and to rid myself of cancer by going on (attempt to go on) a strict diet of whole grains, vegetables and fruit with some fish and only organic chicken, drinking tea no coffee (well maybe once twice a week), meditation, decorating the fung shui way (just kidding but has been considered lol), and a whole lot of soul searching. I still need to let out what has and is building up inside me I keep trying to be strong which is all good but have not yet let the tears completely flow - I refuse to cry - I will tear up and feel it coming on the supress it and be strong... But, I think that one good cry will do me good. Still, everything has happened so fast and everything has most certainly been life changing. SO, much going on around me that I must rethink everything and put things into perspective but it seems like I have had no time to do that. Between having my father staying with me, worrying about my mother, now my grandmother is staying with me, our Kyle having his problems right now, the kids, the healing, the house I have so much on my mind and there is no time for nothing just doing what needs to be done but I have come to that point that I want to heal, I want change, I want better, I want ME back... Ok enough for now here comes the 3 chemo drip bags I better go and start my relaxing time... Thank you all for reading and listening to me sometimes I ramble but for all that know me well, that/this is expected :) I love and appreciate and care for you all!
Take care and God Bless!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Deanna

Ok everyone "HAIR TODAY & GONE TOMORROW"

Hello all hair it is I mean here it is "The Video" that I have been putting off putting on... My new Chemo cut well, was really starting to fall apart-fall out whatever! My hair really started coming out the Friday before Easter (you ever had a hairy deviled egg?) and by Easter Sunday I just could not take it (the burning, the itching and the aggravation-it (hair) was everywhere) anymore! So... I went to Dollar General and purchased the hair clippers and had Emily come over (bless her heart) and do the dirty deed... We all cried even lil' Dylan! It was a sad but also like a new start - a new beginning - kind of... I don't know I am still in shock over ALL of this , NO words could described how I feel -well I take that back I am pretty good with words (this will be another blog I am sure LOL). Anyway, we all laughed and cried. But it had to be done... I feel really bad about having my kids seeing me this way and I know that it hurts them but they know that their mother IS a strong person and that I love them so much! I feel bad that poor Emily had to do the dirty work... I know it really hurt her and I feel bad for that I really do but as I have always told them all "this will only make you stronger-learn from me"! I know that the chemo is running through me and with God, family, friends it is working... I am so ready to going back to being me - not that I am not me just I look in the mirror and do not recognize myself - I am not used to what I feel or feeling this way - I get real sentimental and well have to hold back the tears every so often but you know me I am a big ol' softy... Anyway, back to the video... So, here is Part I of "Deanna's Hair Today and Gone tomorrow" video!
It is a lil' dark sorry!!!

Here is Part II of "Deanna's Hair Today and Gone tomorrow" video!

Part III...

and finally... Look at the funny look on my face... LOL LOL LOL...

ok so that is it... the videos of the shave... since then well my hair fell out almost completely and was pretty smooth until recently the past week well it has started to grow back... CRAZY and so I will be speaking with the Oncologist because I have other questions to ask as well... I love you all and stay tuned... I can now and will now put pics up of me... Emily & I learned a lot today at the Look Good Feel Good meeting it was fun and interesting... I am however so far still the youngun' of the bunch... Everyday though however since all of this I learn a lil' more and more...
Love you all and stay tuned....

XOXOXOXO,
Deanna

On My Mind... 04/07/08

“The hardest part for me as a mother and having cancer is not being able to be a part of my children’s every day lives EVERYDAY and in every way as before. At times I might feel too weak to go to my daughter’s softball game, step outside to play. I’m most scared of dying leaving my children & future grand-children. I do believe that God has a plan for me and by sending me on this journey, he will tell me my purpose.” Just something that I feel right now and wanted to get off my chest (blog about)!