Hello all! Just had to pop in and say hello! It has been a bit since I have posted. All is ok. However have not been feeling up to par but can be expected. Just shows that the Chemo is kickin'! I had my Neulasta injection today and well, it is already rearin' it's ugly butt on me and giving me the headache, bone aches and muscle pains! Darn stuff! But I thank the Lord for it and for the people who invented/discovered it! Sometimes I think it is worse than the chemicals that they give me for Chemo then again not. The worst side effect of the Chemotherapy for me is the "Chemo brain" not the nauseau! Can you believe I am in more of a fog than usual!!! LOL Really it is bad at times... I have tried driving lately not- I was afraid to before because of the way I felt but thought well I'll try it... Not a good thing let's see I have locked my keys in the car, forgot to lock the door with the keys in the car, left the lights on and ran down the battery (still do not know why I had the lights on it was 1:00 in the afternoon!), and shopping at the grocery store well, I make some really impulsive buys... Still get the headaches, dry mouth, I also get the shakes A LOT... Real figidy also (but that's me too) LOL! I ramble a lot too LOL just kidding!!! No, really it just makes me feel not myself then to make matters worse than not feeling yourself I look in the mirror and am like WHOA who's that woman? It is scary and I do get depressed at times! Still am unable to find that perfect wig! Guess I have to break down and get another fitting and spend some money and then have it styled to suit me! I promise I will get the video and/or pics up of me with no hair. But, still feel a lil' uncomfortable. I feel funny too going out in public, I feel like everyone is looking at me and going "why is she wearing a wig?", I would go bald LOL (I do at home at times) but do not want to scare the kiddies out there. The wigs are HOT also! Really HOT & itchy!!! I will get over my insecurities I am sure in time THIS is still all to new for me now. I am just getting started but I know deep down that I will be wonderful and stronger when it is all over... I feel this is a learning experience in more ways than one. I love you all and will post again soon...
XOXOXXOXOOXOXOXOX,
Deanna
COMING SOON: My fears, feelings and frusterations!
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5 comments:
This too shall pass...
You are so brave and strong. I am so happy that you are two treatments down. This time will go by so fast, and soon you will also be ringing the bell on your last treatment. Your hair will grow back and this will have just been a bad dream we all had together. I know you feel uncomfortable out in public, and I have no idea what you must feel like because I haven't been in your shoes but I can say F*#! who ever looks at you strange, because you will always be beautiful inside and out hair or no hair.
Hi My Dear! You are so stoic as you go through this whole process! I am amazed and so proud of you as I don't think I could be as brave as you. I love that you are journaling your experience and I know you'll look back soon and it won't even seem real! I'm missing you more every time I read your blog or see your pics. I'd love to talk to you if you ever feel like escaping.
Luvyu lots........Pam
I love to read your posts, you should be a writer. I know two people that lost their hair and when it grew back it was curly and more beautiful than before. Hold your head up look them in the eyes and smile. Your smile is all they will remember.
Hey women,I think you are doing great.I've seen you a couple of times in the last week or so.I have to say you are showing amazing strenght thru this whole thing.By the way,you have a beautifully shaped head.I say forget the wigs.Show them all how wonderfully how pretty you really are!!!!!!I love you very much
deanna forget the wig people will understand more than you think ,they did with me!
joy
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