TODAY!

Hello all! A lot has been going on lately! I am still trying to heal and get these silly Jackson Pratt drains out! I was supposed to get them out on the 26 of October however I am still draining too much fluid *well Was* but now I have a clot somewhere in the right breast and still drainig around 90ml on the left and on the right well had a bad I mean really bad reaction to the surgical tape *it is in my records I am allergic*!!! My skin is like just rotting! I know it sounds gross and well it is! However I am keeping my chin up and just praying and doing whatever I can! it started it out as some type of weird bruising that turned into a yellow goozing thingy which has spread really bad and is now black, blue, red, oozing and well think *KNOW* that it has to be an allergic reaction to the steristrips... called and spoke with the nurse and she said to try to remove the steristrips with water(THIS NOT DID NOT WORK) this pulled my skin off!!!! So, I called the Plastic Surgeon *he was playing golf* because it was getting worse he said *over the phone* oh it will be ok i will see you in a couple of days, slow down and put some neosporin on the site.. So I did this was on Saturday, It got worse so today I call the nurse and she is like well your numbers are still to high to remove the drains call back on wednesday! Anyway my girlfriend Shawn and Emily said "no way this has been going on to long and it is getting worse" Shawn has been there for me soooo much for me lately and I do not know what I would do without her, probably clone her! Anyway she contacted the nurse and told her "no" this is not right her skin is just being eating up by something and insisted that I come in and be seen SO went and well the Doctor was not there, the nurse looked at the sites and said "yes, this does not look good" soooo, just go home and keep putting vaseline on the strips and try to remove them *is this not there job?) THEY knew that I was allergic to adhesive (something new since chemo/cancer) anyway and then i asked her about the swelling that I have been having in one of the breasts (right side same as the really bad reaction site) anyway she said "yes looks like you have a clot in your tube, then she said and well I may have to have stitches or another surgery to try and save the skin, then she tried working out the clot again *granted it is right next to where the tube goes in OW* she worked some of it out and was like well here is how you do it and you will need to come in on wed and probably have it aspirated!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After Emily went off about this visit and is so worried when I came home and called my internal med doctor who is an angel!! She will be seeing me tomorrow at 11!!! I will let you know the outcome!!!! I took pics, kept the tape... Oh yeah and the nurse said that I may lose that skin and additional work may need to be doNE... OH MY I want a new Plastic! I did not feel good about him to begin with!!! Sorry to have vented and unloaded on you like this but I am highly upset, worried, tired and well a little depressed I am still unable to do what I would like to do! The nurse also said that I must stop moving my hands and arms and to slow down If I did that I would have to have my arms strapped down really... I am not used to having people do for me and really do not have anyone at home so what am I to do... I can not wait to see my favorite doctor tomorrow I really do feel like the Plastic did a major boo boo by not bringing me in sooner when I noticed the problem!!! pheW I feel better now!!! Thank you all for the ear, thank you Barbie for the support and courage, thank you Shawn for EVERYTHING I could not do this without you- you are always there for me! Thank you Emily for being there as my back up brain, my supporter, my beautiful daughter, thank you for Sarah for the love, support and all the help, thank you so much Kyle for all the help around the house, thank you Dylan for loving me unconditionally, for the morning kisses and for keeping me busy!!! Thank you my dear and wonderful NACM/SACM for being there, for the support, and everything that you do! Thank you Miss Shelley Bean for the love, support and your texts that keep me smiling...

Hello All!

Don't you just love fall! It is just so gorgeous out!
I am doing pretty good! Sarah and Shawn arranged for me to have the computer in bed! This is pretty good. So, I will be posting some pics and some videos soon! Well I am still REAllY SORE! I get real dizzy (lol yes more than usual)... I am running a lil' fever now and had the chills earlier but feel ok, however tired but unable to sleep! I want to thank all of you who have sent me my get well cards! Can not wait to get back to my normal routine! I love all of you, will keep you in my prayers and hope you all are doing fabulous!!! Ok going to get some rest now which I have had a lot of that since I am unable to get out of bed now or off the couch (the lovely couch from Jack). Thank you and God Bless You ALL!

xoxoxoxoxoxo
Deanna

AWARENESS

October is breast cancer awareness month. However EVERY MONTH we should be aware!!! It only takes 1 minute to exam ourselves-1 hour for a mammogram but it can take away a lifetime if not caught in time.

PLEASE READ, CLICK & SIGN THE PETITIONS!

The Bipartisan Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act Needs Your Support!On September 25, 2008, the U.S. House of Representatives approved the bipartisan Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act, which would end the practice of "drive-through" mastectomies, when women are forced to leave the hospital within hours of undergoing major breast cancer surgery. But the act still needs your support! Sign the petition below now and urge the Senate and the president to take the next steps to pass this bill.

http://www.mylifetime.com/community/my-lifetime-commitment/breast-cancer/petition/breast-cancer-petition

Will Our Political Leaders Help End Breast Cancer Forever?
America's next political leaders can save lives—but only if you ask. By taking a moment to sign the I Vote for the Cure petition, which outlines three critical goals in the fight to end breast cancer, you can let our next political leaders know that you expect them to make breast cancer a national priority—in their platforms and for our country.
One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime. Women are dying every day, when common-sense policies could ensure that every woman in America has access to high-quality breast health care. Take this easy step to make sure our next political leaders hear from as many Americans as possible: we want a plan to end breast cancer forever!

http://komenpolicy.org/komenadvocacy/ivoteforthecure.html

PLEASE NOTE

Please scroll all the way down and subscribe to this blog... Will be easy to see if and when I post.

A poem for today

Myself - me. I am still me minus a part of me that I have shared with myself for 40 years now. Yes, these things will one day be replaced by me and like all things in life will at times be forgotten by me. However, this part of me I have carried over from birth, to childhood, to my current adulthood. And I am faced with the fact that they are now gone however I must remind myself, not completely. I am here, still whole, I am still me - I am still myself.

Hello All

Well, here I sit (or should I say lay) 3 days post after my bilateral mastectomy! I am tired, sore, anxious, and kind of on an emotional roller coaster today! The Jackson Pratt drains are really really annoying and are a pain! I am having a hard time letting others do for me. During my battle I have done just about everything however NOW I have to let others help care for me, the kids, Dylan and the house! I am NOT used to this! I have been in bed and on the couch a lil' but the bed is more comfortable possibly thinking about finding a recliner. I lost all of thursday it was a blur. Yesterday, I was told that I blacked out and had what appeared to be a seizure the surgeon said that it was probably from not eating and from the pain also taking the meds on a empty stomach (my throat really really hurts due to my throat being sore because of the tube from surgery), so now before I can get my pain pills and antibiotics I must eat a lil' so as not to scare everyone (including myself) again. The night of my surgery I did not sleep well at all. The pain as well as the pain meds (oxycodone & morphine) kept me awake and practically climbing the walls. The same now I will be calling the surgeon on Monday to see if anything else can be prescribed so as not to be so anxious, still be able to take away the pain and so I can relax. I am having a hard time with not having and not doing my usual routines. Needing help out of bed, just having people do what I usually do really sucks! I am probably rambling I will blame this on the meds once again!

Hello to ALL!

Well, it has been a while! I APOLOGIZE! I still have a hard time with managing my time!!! I know this sounds crazy but even though I am spending all my time at home and not currently working (now I know why) my day is still like a blur to me! I get very very tense and well I seem to be more A-D-D than usual (LOL) really! I have been told by Dr. Shah (Oncologist) that I still have chemo brain and that this takes a while to get over! WOW... I am really really scatter brained (I will blog about this shortly)! At this moment I just wanted to do a blog apologizing for not updating my blog and keeping it current!!! My time and my days at times are like a blur!!! So, with that I love you all and want to thank all of you for your thoughts, prayers, help and well just for being YOU! God Bless!

xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Deanna

Angels spotted carrying cookies at MD Anderson!

TWO SWEET WOMAN w/ Some YUMMY cookies!


Just wanted to give a great big HELLO and THANK YOU to two wonderful woman who have touched many people lives at MD Anderson as well as there tummys-Lois and Annette! Thank you both for always being there to lend and ear, fill my belly, and always have a smile to greet me!!! You make coming to treatment fun (well as fun as it can be that is) but all in all "thank you" for donating your time to everyone and well just for being Angels in disguise!



XOXOXOXO,
Deanna

You look mighty fine in them GENES!!!

Just returned from meeting with Ryan (see above) from Genetic Counseling at the Breast Care Center @ MD Anderson! He was very nice and explained a lot to me (what I remember is a different story LOL)... Anyway he suggested due to the family history, me having the girls and believe it or not Dylan too (males can get breast cancer and of course prostate is related) however no other circumstances are really related to breast cancer I am the only one as far as we know with breast cancer! So, anyway I am having the genetic testing done also my Oncologist suggested it! So part of me will be going to Salt Lake City, Utah to a place Myriad Genetic Laboratories, Inc. if I can't be there well at least my blood and my genes will have a good time and forget about everything lately that has been going on!!! I would love to just go somewhere anywhere I really get a chance to get away during treatment (look for other blog coming soon...) anyway it will take about 2 weeks for the results to come back. Due to the cost of the testing it will be only be tested for the BRCA1 and the BRCA2 gene. Apparently we all have this gene along with other cancer genes! It is when they are mutated, non-functional or missing a protein is when the "C" comes into play! It is almost like cooking and having everything just about done and well oops your missing one ingredient, or you put too much salt in, or the eggs or milk you used were old or expired. He stated that usually only 1 out of 500 have the messed or malufunctioning gene and that most cancers occurs by chance (called sporadic). The cancer risk for BRCA mutation carriers are as follows:

...........................BRCA1 MUTATION .......................GENERAL POP
Breast Cancer 56%-87%....................................................... 12%

Ovarian Cancer 27%-44%...................................................... 2%

2nd Primary 48%-64%.................................................. 2%-11%

Breast Cancer

Just an FYI for all my sister "C' bloggers out there...


I can email anyone more information if needed just let me know!!!

Anyway, there was so much said I had to take notes and made sure I obtained all booklets and pamphlets so to have Emily look over them for me... I am sure though that she has already researched it on the internet! So, anyway... the results will be back in 2 weeks and if it comes back positive which is like 1 in 500 very low then I will have withhout a doubt will need to have a Hysterectomy as well as the Double Bisectomy and well Dr. Shah and I spoke and due to the type of cancer, how it spread and my just plain dumb luck I just may go ahead and go through with the Double Bisectomy anyway! It will lower my risk tremendously!!! And now a days with all that is going on the world, the sadness and the losses around me, other wonderful people that have cancer, previously had cancer and the wonderful, fantastic people around me that I can not let down by not being here well, I have decided to have the surgery done regardless of the Genetic testing! Anyway, I need to go now almost done with my Chemo!!!

Have a wonderful and blessed day ALL of you and remember to live each day to it's fullest!!!

STOP AND SMELL THE FLOWERS!!!


xoxoxoxox,
Deanna

Bleep you CANCER

This is for you CANCER!!!

Three big raspberries!!!

NOW GO AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE!

DAMN YOU CANCER! DAMN YOU!!! NO REALLY %*#$! YOU CANCER! I AM REALLY TIRED OF WHAT YOU ARE, WHO YOU ATTACK AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO TO THE PEOPLE YOU ATTACK, TO WHAT YOU DO TO THE FAMILIES, TO THE CHILDREN!!! GO AWAY AND LEAVE EVERYONE ALONE!!! OK I feel a little better now!!! LOL Just had to vent a little!!!

Hello All!

Just wanted to do a quick post... Had #11 of #12 yesterday!!! Yippee!!! Gettin' closer and feelin' groovy! Lada da da da da feelin' groovy!!! Ok there goes those darn steroids again!!! LOL anyway just wanted to let everyone know that I am doing pretty good today had a really rough night last night and a really crazy day today! But hangin' in there! Thanks to wonderful friends and family! I also just want to give a personal shout out to my two new sisters that I have recently met (you know who you are Barbie & Heather!), my good friend Pat M., my old old (not in age however LOL) friends that I have recently made contact with (you know who you are too but just in case... Cathy, Pam, Karen, Debbie and Honey you all are wonderful), family that I have just reunited with (Dody, Stacey, my nephews), my family (ok to many of you all to list), my NACM NTO family, my SACM/NACM family and my friends, to all of you who have given my so much love, support and well the spunk to keep on keepin' on! Ok feelin' sentimental now you all can blame this on Cathy!!! Just a note to all that I have an appointment on Friday and hopefully I will be told exactly what will be going on with me, my treatments, how I am doing with my battle, war and my kickin' cancers ass!!! I feel at times that I have been given the run around and well either Michael or Emily will be coming to this one! I love you all thank you for everything! Going to go get me some applesauce now (the only thing besides that and yogurt that I really eat for the first 2 days after Chemo!!! Keep on Keepin' on!!! Love you all!

XOXOXOXOXO,
Deanna

3 kinds of meds that I take for Chemo

Just an fyi... Here are the 3 types of chemo that I am currently taken every week! Herceptin, Decadron(steroid) and Taxol...

Chemo Tuesday - Happy Hour...

Hello all... Sitting at MD Anderson, 5th Floor, Room 20, first chair to the left, getting Chemo treatment #10 of 12! I am pretty sure that this is correct!!! Yippee! Then off to round 3!!! I missed my Doctors Appointment today! Had so much going on! Sarah, had to get her shots today for school - long story short-was told one month ago that she was up to date on her shots so no appointment was made however when I called the school about something else I was made aware that she needed more!!! ARGH wake up people!!! That should be a topic in my blog I will not do that now on this one... Anyway I missed my appointment today with Dr. Shah and will need to reschedule - I have many other questions for her. HER2 nue is/was positive "what exactly does this mean?", just questions (I will be bringing in Emily and/or Mike when I do or record it - LOL!), also I need to go to see the Genetics people. Anyway, today I had a MUGA scan for my heart, something that is required every 2 months for me while on Herceptin then off to Chemo I went and here I sit...

Words to live by (a reminder to me and my fighting friends)!

Cancer is a word,
NOT a sentence.

Hello all! Another one bites the dust!

As Emily said today "another one bites the dust"!!! Yippee, todays treatment was a little rough on me the Taxol and Herceptin is running it's course on me even though Dr. Shah cut the Herceptin down a lil' it and the Taxol are making my bones ache something fierce that the pain pills are not helping... It really feels as if they are on fire, tingly and achy all at the same time! I just wanted to post a lil' before I lie down and elevate my legs... Dylan is up we took a late nap (5:15) of course I woke up before he did and no matter what I tried I could not get him up so, Sarah, Shelley (Sarah's best friend and my adopted daughter LOL) and I proceeded to make dinner we tried to wake him up again to eat and well to no avail did he do so. UNTIL I was ready to go to bed that is... Now he is up and movin', Sarah and Shelley said that they would play with him for a bit and try to wear him down (may be the other way around LOL)... I am going to read a lil' and stretch out! And before I go to sleep say a prayer for all of you, myself, and for the lil' girl that is missing!

God bless you all and a wonderful day/evening to you all!


xoxoxoxoxoxo,

Deanna

Just an FYI and a prayer request!

Lately I have come across 4 wonderful women that are fighting cancer and one of them we just reconnected and I have known since high school... One is 46 her name is Barbie and has been dealing with breast cancer now for 4 years and has been taking chemo off & on since. She has had 2 masectomys (one was her implants)! The other is a 35 year old woman (Stephanie) who was recently diagnosed (in February) with breast cancer also is done with her chemo and will be starting radiation soon. And the one from high school(Debbie), well she is the sister of one of my close friends from high school, she has just completed chemo (do not remember when she started) and is starting her radiation. The other is going through radiation and chemo now and is a very very close person to me she has been there for me so, PLEASE keep all of them in your prayers! These are all young strong women! I am just shocked at how wide spread this cancer thing is... NEVER ever would have thought that I would be one of them nor any of these woman that are in my life now... As well as for all the others and for the woman who need to check their breasts I would just say on a weekly bases "because you just never know!"!!!

Hello ALL I miss you!!! Just sittin' at chemo...

Just wanted to tell everyone how much I love and miss everyone!!!

And I would like to thank EVERYONE for everything!

God Bless You All!!!

XOXOXOXO,

Deanna

P.S. Feeling a lil' low and sentimental now. Just looked at some of my pics since my diagnoses and from my party and well feeling a little sad! DAMN Steroids! LOL really I am ok... Just tired and a sentimental now (note the word "mental" LOL)...

Plus, I keep forgetting to wear my pink wig in!!! I have had private rooms the last three times and keep forgetting to bring it in it would be the perfect opportunity now when I do bring it in next week I will be in a room with 3 other people... LOL but I will do it anyway PROMISE...

So, check this blog next week at around 3:30!!!

I am feeling a lil' down now also, because today while waiting I met the YOUNGEST one ever during chemo (just recently have I met people close to my age everyone else up until last tuesday has been 60 or over...) anyway the girl today was recently transferred from Fla Hospital, she is 19 going on 20 this year, she looked so weak and fragile, we were both pretty much bundled but she also had on a winter hat and sweat pants, she seemed a lil' out of it, during her chemo (she was 2 doors down) her blood pressure started to drop and she was not doing to good she was also complaining of chest pains she was taken upstairs, my heart my thoughts and my prayers are with her now! I still have a hard time understanding God's purpose for things like this at times I really do and feel guilty/bad that I do so...

Just an update!

Just hangin' with my lil' ones!

Mommy loves her some Dylan!

Hello all! So so sorry that I have not blogged in a while... This new round of chemo (weekley) well, it is harder for me... I was told that it would not be but it is for me. Not sure really though if it is the chemo or just all the chemo catching up with me. Plus with school out I have been busy and more to do. School will be back in soon so we shall see. I will miss Sarah though she has been such a great help to me she is such a good girl!!! Things are ok I guess miss my old routine though PC (pre-cancer)!!!

Well, let's see... Tomorrow I will be on infusion #8 of 12!!! I have been dealing with neuropathy in my feet and it has now reached my fingertips and at times my hands... The feet and toes are really annoying. It is almost like when your leg goes to sleep and you know the feeling you get when it starts to wake up that tingly, pins & needle feeling? That is how it feels in my toes and 1/2 f my foot and it is starting in my hands now! The doctor prescribed Neurontin 300 mg and it helps keep it subsided then on my last 2 chemo treatments the dose was cut down %*)!O*(%)*! I did not like this as you can see by the cursing above... ( I feel as if I am missing out )... I have to have another Mugascan done to check my heart to see how bad the chemo is effecting it if at all and how the treatments are going in getting rid of my cancer... My hair started to come back but is now falling out once again. Not as bad as it was around Easter though - it just looks now like I have a bad case of the mange LOL. Still having a hard time sleeping especially after treatment and well, I have gained so much weight from the steroids not from sitting around though because I am unable to sit still with the stuff. However, my brain / memory has gone on a lil' vacation! I am totally like ADHD now no lie. I start doing something then see something else then see another thing. By the end of the day I am exhausted, the house is messier and well nothing is done! Really this is not an exaggeration. And the muscle and/or joint aches at night time at times just drive me crazy!!! But listen all and listen you Damn cancer cells - as Helen Reddy once sang I will not I repeat NOT be defeated "I am strong - I am invincible I am WOMAN!!!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRKnv9so5O8
wow I have always loved Helen Reddy (just a lil' info for anyone if there is ever a "Deanna Pop Quiz"...
Ok all well better go. I will post sooner and more often next time... Promise (I keep my promises)...
LOVE YOU ALL!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Deanna

Sleepless in Orlando!

Hello All... It's been a bit since I blogged... Have been very very busy... And once again the chemo cocktails have kicked in full force! I am unable to sleep and feel very tense and hyper. Will be calling the Dr. tomorrow! Not sure if it is a side effect of the chemo itself, steriods or a combo of both... Since Tuesday I have had only 7 hours of sleep and can not stop going! Tuesday I went to sleep (well really it was Wed) last time I looked at the clock it was 5:30 a.m. then up with Dylan Jon at 7:45! Wednesday I went to sleep around 4:30 (last time I looked at the clock it was 4:15 then was woke up by Dylan going "mommy wake up... time to pay Cars!!!" It was about 9:00 Then went to my Grandmothers managed care plan meeting and gave them a piece of my mind (what was not all soggy from lack of sleep) since Tuesday everything really has been a blur... I start on something and never seem to get back to it... Figured "wow-I can get some stuff done now" NO NO NO wrong again... I lose track of my time... Completely... Really weird stuff (chemo) this time around... And the steroids I think are like bulking, bloating me up! Oh well I would rather be around and "round"... lol... I feel very ADD... The weird part is I am so unable to concentrate on one thing I am like going a hundred miles per hour!!! Will be calling the Oncologist tomorrow I can not take anymore of this really I am afraid that I could or possibly could just fall out if I keep this up... However my house is slowly getting back to the way it should be... I just wish I could get out of this cloud that I feel like I am in... I have a close friend that was just diagnosed a second time with cancer. Well this really f(*@! Sucks... I HATE CANCER!!! I will fight this! I WILL PRAY FOR THOSE AROUND ME FIGHTING AS WELL!!! I still do not understand! I am still Pz?>@)*%! off!!! Phew that felt good! Really I do still get upset, sad, confused, worried, then someone else close to me gets diagnosed and - and well it just ticks me off even more...



Ok enough of the complaining... But I have had a lot on my mind! This is my venting room... I just type and type and type. It feels good.. Feels like work! My job now is to heal, teach the ones around me, take care of loose ends, find myself, open up... ARGH I am rambling again!!!





On a wonderful note my nose bleeds have almost completely stopped!!! This is due to my wonderful NACM family, my work husband, my work daughters, and my work sisters! Thank you to all of them! They are the best and go way above and beyond what co-workers, family and friends should do! They are my hope, my faith and mean the world to me... And I am so grateful for all that they do... I am also so very thankful for the lil' birdie ( I love you and you know who you are!!! I love you) who keeps giving up all my lil' secrets... And a big thanks to the lil' birdie who keeps inquiring about me-your a sweetheart) SO!!! thank you all so very much everything that you have said, done and advised me has and is GRATEFULLY appreciated!!! You are the best and I am blessed to have you ALL in my life... Here is a pic of me & Dylan on the day that I received one of my Happy Packages!!! He loved the box and the packing!!! He did not want to get out!!!

THANK YOU!!!

YOU ALL are just WONDERFUL!!!

Well, it is almost 2 and the meds still not have kicked in yet that I took at 9:30 to put me to sleep... Going now to make me some sleepy time tea!!! And probably some more applesauce (yum Motts Strawberry Apple!) I have ate 5 things of Yoplait Yogurt today already still no appetite and this is the only thing I enjoy besides my Green tea w/honey over ice!!! I am hungry but nothing seems to satisfy me...

Except...

Me with my wonderful birthday present from Will & Diana to the Outback!!!

Last Monday night I finally made it out to dinner! (Before chemo) OUTBACK!!! It was great - so a big thanks to William & Diana!!! Here is a pic for you two!!! It was great, I got the filet, the scallops, a salad, a sweet potatoe, even one of those fruity drinks!!! Thank you it was really sweet of you!!! It would have been good to have had you both there also!!! Thank you both again!!! phmaw!!!

Ok one more thing!!! I would love to thank Shawn & Lorrie for all there help with trying to get my pool in working condition so that all our kids could have someplace to swim before summer is over and before I decide to just fill the darn thing in... Your hard work and diligence is very appreciated!!! Right now it is a cloudy blue... And starting to look good again!!! A big hug and kiss to you both!!! Thank you for always being there for the lil' trips to the store of things that I forgot when I just went earlier in the day... (chemo brain...) Thank you for being there...

Thank you Daddy for the words of wisdom, Thank you Mike for being there today to support me I know you were tired too, Thank you Sarah for getting up with Dylan and helping me (the frig was a great surprise) I could not do things without you, Thank you kids for helping with the laundry, Thank you Emily & Tom for helping me out in sooo many ways!!! I am thankful so thankful that I have you both!!! Thank you thank you all of you! I love you all!!!

Thank you to everyone!!! I feel like I just wrote and recited an Emmy or an Academy Award speech!!! Ok time to stip off of the soap box....

Ok all good night... Going to get me some applesauce... Drink a cup of tea... and see where that get's me...

I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY LIKE YOU I HAVE NO DOUBT/NO FEAR!!! Once again!!!

THANK YOU!!!

xoxoxoxo,
Deanna!!!

Hello All! Latest Update...

Mommy & Dylan at ORMC after Oba's surgery!

Hello All!!!

So, sorry that I have not posted in a while... Things have been real crazy lately! Between my chemo cocktails and every day life I have been so busy. This new round of weekly chemo of the herceptin and taxol has made me really tired I think more tired than the other ones, probably due to the fact that I am unable to sleep for the first 3 nights following (last night I did not go to sleep til' 4:45 this a.m. took a 20 minute nap today with Sarah's help (God bless her) and well it is now 1:11 and I am still up , still getting the body aches, stomach problems and the tinglys of the hands (not that bad) and the legs and feet (from just above the knee down to the toes) almost like someone next to is on a vibrating pad and I can just barely feel this shaky tingly feeling... Weird, it is Nueropothy and is not uncommon... What it is - is the meds are affecting my nerves I am taking vitamin b6 and if that does not work or if it does not work I will be prescribed an rx for it - it could have a long term effect on the nerves and this is not what they want if that does not help it then the chemo will be cut down or changed to something else however then I will not be getting what is best for me now... I told them that I can take the tinglys but the oncologist said no it is not a good thing due to the nerves being damaged... So, I am praying that it will stop... On a good note my hair seems to be growing back! I was told however that it will be falling out again but I have faith and a feeling that it will not! I am really enjoying my new look except for the weight gain (still-damn steroids) but with the steroids it helps the nauseasness. My grandmother recently had hip replacement surgery on Saturday and is currently in a rehabilitation center ( I say it is a nice word for a nursing home! ) I hate it, we hate it and she hates it... It has been crazy around here... I feel as if she is and has not been treated right... She fell 2 1/2 weeks ago at home getting out of bed and refused to go to the hospital and/or doctor - she walked on it with a cane at times and the other times with a walker... Then she just started going down hill and would not eat for a coulple of days prior to being admitted last friday... She is a tough ole' bird! She kept saying "I'm ok-and each day she was like "I feel better today" and would get up and move around! Well, she shattered the ball of her hip completely! So, on friday they told us that she would be getting surgery on monday come the next day (saturday) they called and said surgery would be in one hour - we rushed to the hospital (got there 40 minutes later) and she was already in the surgery room... When she came out of surgery she was confused and was fighting the nurses and had to be restrained... They kept her restrained til' Sunday night! The nurse we initially got was horrible too! Could not get the needle in her arm was very unorganized, had to wait forever for things, even had Emily hold one of the needles after getting blood from Oba... Crazy!!!! Big ole mess... (see pic)

UNBELIEVABLE & RIDICULOUS!

She did not realize that she had surgery! She had no clue what had happened thought she was going for another xray!!! She has a hard time hearing, even though she has been in the US for like 37 years as she gets older she seems to not be able to understand as much could be due to her hearing problem though... Anyway, it took her til' Monday to start coming out of the Anesthesia and today seems like she is much better... She only weighs 75lbs! And is 83 years old on July 29th! Anyway, on Sunday they told us that she would be needing to go to a rehab/nursing home soon (no day given), by Monday @ 6:30 they told us that we needed to find a place for her... They gave us a list of NURSING HOMES even though they said that a rehab center would be fine also, the ones on the list and the one they wanted to send her to only received one star an the AHCA web site... We were stressing... It was crazy we called places and was however we wanted to send her to Lucerne a sister company of ORMC but it was not on the list and the case worker said just the ones on the list, we called the places and researched the places some had no night time visitors, no tv's must bring your own, some were really like a nursing home, so then we found what we thought would be a good one (the place she is in now), so we made arrangements for her to go there, then the therapist came in and well she was from Lucerne Rehab Center and said Yes she could go there, after I already spoke to the lady from East Orange Medical and Rehab Center on Chickasaw and Lake Underhill... We were told that she would get a private room, that they were putting in flat screen tv's and that she would benefit more there due to the fact that they did not rush the physical therapy like Lucerne does (3 days a week 2-3 hours -vs- 6 days a week 3-4 hours a day) so, we picked East Orange...Well before she left and was transported we were told that the room that they had for her was not available at that time and that she would be sharing a room just for the night, we reluctantly said ok and thought that it would not be that bad NOT we got there and well, for starters NO TV, NO PHONE, the nurse tugged hard on the sheets beneath her NOT reading the chart seeing that she just had hip replacement (Oba was put on the Dialysis side of the center) she thought she was there for dialysis... We were like "Whoa -she just had hip replacement surgery!!!) she apologized... (*%&U)#$)!!! I immediatly called the case worker who I had spoke to and left her a message! She called back but not to us she spoke with the nurse at the front desk and said that she promised that Oba would be put in a private room tomorrow (Wednesday)... She did get a private room! HAS NO TV... Finally they brought one in it is like a 9" tv no remote... She beeped them early this morning to let them know that she needed to use the bed pan they never showed - she messed the bed - she was very embarrassed and upset... We Are IRRATE! I am going there tomorrow and taking out all my frustrations!!! She will get her remote or a new tv! They will give her her meds when she wants them and not have her wait 2 hours (RIDICULOUS) I will be speaking with that MS. MARCIA and showing her a lil' chemo / steroid rage!!! This is ridiculous!!! Breathe Deanna... OK venting is good...

It always seems as if we are given one thing after another... Lets see there has been more, Mom had a flood in her house, they took forever replacing the tile just 3 weeks ago they finished! Movers never came back to empty the PODS, my mothers car engine shot she had to get a new car, ARGH but it is nice her first real new car it is a 2007 see pic... But we conquered!

SO anyway I am ready for whatever! But I wish things would slow down!!! Really I do but I am a fighter but getting really tired... I still do not quite understand why these things seem to happen... Are we just too nice to I need to be more of a bitch! I just always feel as if I am like that things could go more wrong however it does not seem to have worked as of yet. TO DO: try to be a bitch! LOL, give the lady at the rehab center a piece of my mind! PHEW I feel better already... You know it is terrible... We were told after her surgery that about 30% of senior hip replacement patients pass within the first year - we were like "wow-no way" now we understand why! It is due to our healthcare system and don't get me started on our school system!!! Anyway we refuse to let them do that to her... We will camp out there if we have too... This is ridiculous... Oh and get this the case worker at the center spoke with my mother and Emily today and was like "Ms. Lewis (OBA) has dimensia and we need some papers signed and a power of attorney" NOT for one thing she is sooo much better today so much! She is hard of hearing, Japanese and hurts... She was well aware of what was/is going on now... And the case worker/social service lady could barely be understood (very strong hispanic accent) Emily had a hard time understanding her and she speaks with people all the time in Miami with work anyway the lady said that Oba did not pass the test and that means she has dimensia!!! We refused to sign anything... They can kiss our butts!!! We will pay to have her transported somewhere else if this continues! This is ridiculous... Like I said before no wonder 30% of the seniors pass away... ARGH...

On a good note my lil' Miss Sarah is on the Conway AllStar Team as well as her team being undefeated and was the first team in Conway Lil' League history of being so (YOU GO GIRL)!!! YEY her first game is this Friday night in St. Cloud at 7:00 if anyone is interested in coming it is in of course St. Cloud on 17th street, coming from Narcoosee road turn right on 192 turn, turn left by the KFC on one corner and the McDonalds on the other (Budinger Street), take a right at the 4 way stop on 17th street and it is up about 1 block on the left... Coming from the turnpike well left on 192, right on Budinger and right on 17th street... She attended a two day intensive softball camp at UCF to prepare for it and boy was it intensive see pic! She was exhausted the pic of her is of I think the most she has ever sweated she did the camp from 1-4 and then went to regular practice m-f 5-7!!! She is a tough one! Get's it from Oba and her mommy! She will be turning 13 on July 5th! I am so proud of her and she is a fabulous daughter and with Michael bless him for working like 60 hours a week, and Taylor and Kyle at there momma's, Mom staying with Oba---without her help with Dylan and helping around the house I do not know what I would do... Thank you Sarah!!!

Something else wonderful for the month of June!!! I had one wonderful night and 2 days as part of my mothers day / birthday present on June 6th with my 3 blessings. Emily took Sarah, Dylan and I to stay in Kissimmee at the Clarion Misty O' Waterpark Resort! It was wonderful and I had a blast... Even getting lost on the way there was kind of fun (sorry Em LOL) I did not want to leave!!! I highly recommend it there!!! I want to go back real soon and would love to make it my home away from home!!! It is great!!! Here is a pic of my blessings in the room!!! THANK YOU EMILY you are a wonderful daughter you make me feel relaxed and calm me when I need to be, helping me, Nana, Papa, Oba, lending me your ear and just for being you!


I returned to the hotel on the 18th (week nights are cheaper) for one night and took Sarah, Dylan and our best girl Shelley... The kids had a blast... And so did I! Both times have been the best times I have had in like forever... Here are some pics that I took!!! I want to live there!!! LOL... No really I really enjoy myself and can relax there... It is a wonderful place!

Dylan chillin' by pool side!
Sarah & Shelley bein' silly & havin' fun!
Relaxin' in the room!

Well I better try to get some sleep!!! Love you all and thank you for letting me vent/blog/post!!! I will post again soon... As not to overload you all like this time...

I love and miss all of you! And please all of you pray for Pat Marazzo at work she is having some medical issues and my thoughts and prayers are with her!!! (I am here for you Pat call me if you need me!!!)


XOXOXOOXOXOXO,
Deanna
********************************************************************************

P.S. Once again thank you to my NTO family for the wonderful camera without you all the beautiful pics of my memories would not have been captured above!!! I love you all!!!

ROUND II here I come - Chemo Treatment

Hello all! Today is the 1st session of Round 2! I have been here at MD Anderson since 9:15 this a.m. just now (3:25 p.m.) received the benadryl, zofran (for Nausea) I still have to get the Chemo cocktail of Herceptin, Taxol and Decadron (damn steroids again-argh)... I am in the process of watching a video/movie/documentary about a lady that has cancer-it came to a part where I started crie (I lie I cried like a baby) and I looked at the clock on the movie and glanced at the corner of my eye at the clock here and well they were the same exact time (3:47)!!! COOL huh!

Will blog u soon! XOXOXOX,
DEANNA

Round one of Round two!

Just wanted to say hello! And that I miss u all! Hope all is well with you! Tomorrow is round 1 of my round 2 of chemo (once a week for 12 weeks*taxol & herceptin*) I will be staying overnight @ MD Anderson Hospital for this one... Will keep u all updated! Love you all!

XOXOXOXO,
Deanna

Lil' Dylan Jon-Christian Hall

Hello All! Miss you! Sorry that I have not blogged in a while very busy, and somewhat tired! I was feeling a lil' creative today and well made this lil' video of Dylan hope you all enjoy it! He is what keeps me going (and going and going and going-LOL)

http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?source=ppsl&instanceid=113896809

BIRTHDAY BLOG!

Hello! A BIG "THANK YOU" to everyone for coming to my 40th Birthday party and for all the wonderful presents! However your presence was all that was expected but thank you from the bottom of my heart! It was great getting everyone that I love and have not seen in a while together so thank you it made my day!!! I understand for the ones that could not make it - I really wished you were there but I understand and love you all and hope to see you soon! Click on the link below for a video that our lil' Miss Shelley did for me with some of the pics that were taken on the day of my birthday and of the party hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed it and my big day!!!

xoxoxoxox,
Deanna
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6nfuAX4_cs

Wonderful kids!

Here is a very sweet video that my wonderful Shelley (one of my adopted girls) did...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzoKFEE9pXA

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!


XOXOXOXO
Deanna

Lost In Time/Lost In Space...

Hello All! It has been a while since my last post. SORRY! I have not felt very well lately. A week ago today I was admitted into the hospital (just overnight-could have stayed another night but I was homesick for my lil' man) I was running a fever and well, was just totally exhausted. After numerous vitamins that I was low on and 3 rounds of antibiotics I am back up and running (well not exactly running). Since my last round of Chemo I have had a really I mean REALLY bad case of Chemo Brain! But, all is ok really! The doctors said that this soon will pass. I am ready I keep forgetting lil' things like my memory card chip at Walmart in one of those lil' machines(which no one ever turned in-ARGH some people - I had videos of Dylan on there, pics of me at Chemo), sometimes I forget if I took my medicine or not (just 5-10 min later), where I put things, just little stuff like that. But, really I am doing fine. Getting tired more easily. I am just ready to get my treatments over with and get back to normal everyday life!!! Last night Michael took me out for a nice evening (we have not had time together or went out since like sometime in January-BC -before cancer diagnosis) without the children. He took me to the House of Blues, then to Pleasure Island to see a comedy show, then some other show and then to see a movie (Iron Man), I was just not ready to go home yet. Had a great time. However very tired today and my feet are aching but worth it. I love you all and can not wait to see everyone ASAP!

XOXOXOX
Deanna

CHEMO BRAIN-DUH...

I am still experiencing that numb spacy feeling that comes with chemo brain. Chemo brain is the condition that I have become aware of during my chemotherapy. You know you have chemo brain when you begin to wonder who stole your brain. It produces: brain fog, memory loss, slow-wittedness and more! Like the other night, I was at dinner took my medicine or so I thought-I just could not remember if I did or not. But I had witnesses that said "um yes, you did", but me I could not remember if I had taken it or not! To me this has been the worse side effect! I have been told that this soon will go away eventually! Praise the Lord!

Hello All

Just a note... Doing really good! A little no very tired. I have came so far! I am feeling pretty good and happy that the treatments are getting closer to the end every day and knowing that I am getting better. Found out today though that this current round of Chemo is almost over and the last day (the fourth treatment) is the last day of Cytoxan and Adriamycin. However, starting in a couple of weeks I will do a weekly chemo treatment (taking 3-4 hours again) with a chemo cocktail of Taxol, Herceptin and something else for another 12 weeks! Then get this (I do not remember this being told to me) but apparently I will also have to do a round of chemo not sure what type of chemo cocktail as of yet but it will before 9 yes NINE months!!! WHAT!?!? I told them that I did not remember being told this but that I remember being told ok 6 months of chemo, 12 weeks radiation and then 5 years of a hormonal treatment... Now, I am being told this other... Emily will be coming with me to my next appt. with Dr. Shaw (oncologist) I hope, to make sure that I am understanding everything. Also, get this I have to do a genetic screening to see if I have some gene and if I do well it will be suggested and most necessary to have a hysterctomy and a masectomy! OK, I would like to get everything in order. I need to make plans, know what is ahead of me... I NEED TO KNOW... Ok starting to stress out here! CONFUSED! Will get everything in order by next appt with Emily by my side!

Questions for my Blog Readers!

Hello Blog Readers!

Well, so far how have I been doing with my blog? Please leave me a comment, ideas, what you would like to see, or just say hi... Just curious to get your opinion.

XOXOXOXO,
Deanna

#3 Treatment UPDATE

I am happy to report that treatment #3 went very well. Nausea was kept to a minimum however a little more than the last 2, even though the chemo dosage has been upped I was worried, rest was kept to a minimum too lol(Unable to sleep I have drank enough Chamomile Tea to put the whole Dallas Cowboys to sleep lol it is one of the side effects), terrible heart burn today too, and just real tired after not going to sleep til' 3:45 a.m.! Hope it is not another restless - sleepless night! So, anyway I just wanted to blog to say that I believe that all of you intervened on my behalf with your positive thoughts, prayers, and amazing support! Thank you & I love you all!

XOXOXOXOXOXO,
Deanna

Deanna's TOP 11 BENEFITS OF NOT HAVING HAIR! plus 1

My Top 10 Benefits of not having hair!

11. An extra 45 minutes of not having to get ready to go somewhere...
10. Less time in the shower = water conservation
9. No time consuming trips to the salon mean more free time to shop for wigs on ebay with Emily!
8. No expensive hair products means more money for really good coffee gotta love that Starbucks and for Teavana!
7. I could wear a different color hair everyday and not damage my own hair
6. No more bad hair days (only bad hat days)
5. No worries of hat hair when I take my hat off
4. It is easier to spot the family resemblances to my father
3. No one has to guess which of the Stooges I am trying to impersonate
2. When it grows back I’ll actually know my natural hair color
1. AND THE #1 reason is having your lil' one kiss you on the head while he thinks you are sleeping and to feel his lips, hear the sound of the smack and well the slobber helps to remind you too... Oooh got another one... I can really belt out the song "I'm to sexy for my hair" and make my lil' Sarah smile...

3rd Chemo Treatment Blog...

Hello all. I am here, I am focused, I am dedicated, I am hard-headed I will win and beat this thing (demon) they call Cancer...

Well, today is my 3rd treatment and time has just flown by. The only thing that I have accomplished is getting better, slowly re-evaluating my life and the peoples lives around me and well how to tie a cool t-shirt turban! Today so far I was given a shot by port of ativan while waiting for my lab report to come back in which it did (I was a little anemic but not by too much so all is ok so let the games begin) so, anyway I can now take my Emend 125mg Capsule, and will be getting an iv drip of Decadron (is used for nausea and to decrease swelling of tumors/cancer) and Aloxi (used for the treatment of nasuea) all that stuff plus the other 4 things that I have to take at home for the nausea-seems like all that stuff would make you nauseas... LOL I am in a shared room today with 3 other chemotherapy patients so of course today would be the day that I forgot my earbuds so I could/can listen to my meditation cds. I will be doing and trying everything to get everything normal again and to heal and to rid myself of cancer by going on (attempt to go on) a strict diet of whole grains, vegetables and fruit with some fish and only organic chicken, drinking tea no coffee (well maybe once twice a week), meditation, decorating the fung shui way (just kidding but has been considered lol), and a whole lot of soul searching. I still need to let out what has and is building up inside me I keep trying to be strong which is all good but have not yet let the tears completely flow - I refuse to cry - I will tear up and feel it coming on the supress it and be strong... But, I think that one good cry will do me good. Still, everything has happened so fast and everything has most certainly been life changing. SO, much going on around me that I must rethink everything and put things into perspective but it seems like I have had no time to do that. Between having my father staying with me, worrying about my mother, now my grandmother is staying with me, our Kyle having his problems right now, the kids, the healing, the house I have so much on my mind and there is no time for nothing just doing what needs to be done but I have come to that point that I want to heal, I want change, I want better, I want ME back... Ok enough for now here comes the 3 chemo drip bags I better go and start my relaxing time... Thank you all for reading and listening to me sometimes I ramble but for all that know me well, that/this is expected :) I love and appreciate and care for you all!
Take care and God Bless!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Deanna

Ok everyone "HAIR TODAY & GONE TOMORROW"

Hello all hair it is I mean here it is "The Video" that I have been putting off putting on... My new Chemo cut well, was really starting to fall apart-fall out whatever! My hair really started coming out the Friday before Easter (you ever had a hairy deviled egg?) and by Easter Sunday I just could not take it (the burning, the itching and the aggravation-it (hair) was everywhere) anymore! So... I went to Dollar General and purchased the hair clippers and had Emily come over (bless her heart) and do the dirty deed... We all cried even lil' Dylan! It was a sad but also like a new start - a new beginning - kind of... I don't know I am still in shock over ALL of this , NO words could described how I feel -well I take that back I am pretty good with words (this will be another blog I am sure LOL). Anyway, we all laughed and cried. But it had to be done... I feel really bad about having my kids seeing me this way and I know that it hurts them but they know that their mother IS a strong person and that I love them so much! I feel bad that poor Emily had to do the dirty work... I know it really hurt her and I feel bad for that I really do but as I have always told them all "this will only make you stronger-learn from me"! I know that the chemo is running through me and with God, family, friends it is working... I am so ready to going back to being me - not that I am not me just I look in the mirror and do not recognize myself - I am not used to what I feel or feeling this way - I get real sentimental and well have to hold back the tears every so often but you know me I am a big ol' softy... Anyway, back to the video... So, here is Part I of "Deanna's Hair Today and Gone tomorrow" video!
It is a lil' dark sorry!!!

Here is Part II of "Deanna's Hair Today and Gone tomorrow" video!

Part III...

and finally... Look at the funny look on my face... LOL LOL LOL...

ok so that is it... the videos of the shave... since then well my hair fell out almost completely and was pretty smooth until recently the past week well it has started to grow back... CRAZY and so I will be speaking with the Oncologist because I have other questions to ask as well... I love you all and stay tuned... I can now and will now put pics up of me... Emily & I learned a lot today at the Look Good Feel Good meeting it was fun and interesting... I am however so far still the youngun' of the bunch... Everyday though however since all of this I learn a lil' more and more...
Love you all and stay tuned....

XOXOXOXO,
Deanna

On My Mind... 04/07/08

“The hardest part for me as a mother and having cancer is not being able to be a part of my children’s every day lives EVERYDAY and in every way as before. At times I might feel too weak to go to my daughter’s softball game, step outside to play. I’m most scared of dying leaving my children & future grand-children. I do believe that God has a plan for me and by sending me on this journey, he will tell me my purpose.” Just something that I feel right now and wanted to get off my chest (blog about)!

Hello All! UPDATE 2nd Nuelasta Injection

Hello all! Just had to pop in and say hello! It has been a bit since I have posted. All is ok. However have not been feeling up to par but can be expected. Just shows that the Chemo is kickin'! I had my Neulasta injection today and well, it is already rearin' it's ugly butt on me and giving me the headache, bone aches and muscle pains! Darn stuff! But I thank the Lord for it and for the people who invented/discovered it! Sometimes I think it is worse than the chemicals that they give me for Chemo then again not. The worst side effect of the Chemotherapy for me is the "Chemo brain" not the nauseau! Can you believe I am in more of a fog than usual!!! LOL Really it is bad at times... I have tried driving lately not- I was afraid to before because of the way I felt but thought well I'll try it... Not a good thing let's see I have locked my keys in the car, forgot to lock the door with the keys in the car, left the lights on and ran down the battery (still do not know why I had the lights on it was 1:00 in the afternoon!), and shopping at the grocery store well, I make some really impulsive buys... Still get the headaches, dry mouth, I also get the shakes A LOT... Real figidy also (but that's me too) LOL! I ramble a lot too LOL just kidding!!! No, really it just makes me feel not myself then to make matters worse than not feeling yourself I look in the mirror and am like WHOA who's that woman? It is scary and I do get depressed at times! Still am unable to find that perfect wig! Guess I have to break down and get another fitting and spend some money and then have it styled to suit me! I promise I will get the video and/or pics up of me with no hair. But, still feel a lil' uncomfortable. I feel funny too going out in public, I feel like everyone is looking at me and going "why is she wearing a wig?", I would go bald LOL (I do at home at times) but do not want to scare the kiddies out there. The wigs are HOT also! Really HOT & itchy!!! I will get over my insecurities I am sure in time THIS is still all to new for me now. I am just getting started but I know deep down that I will be wonderful and stronger when it is all over... I feel this is a learning experience in more ways than one. I love you all and will post again soon...

XOXOXXOXOOXOXOXOX,
Deanna

COMING SOON: My fears, feelings and frusterations!

Me & Daddy Fighting Cancer Together!

What a team!!! WE CAN AND WILL DO IT!!! KICKIN" CANCERS ASS TOGETHER!!!

Dylan & Mommy Pretty in Pink with me beautiful Pink Camera

This is Dylan and mommy with the BEAUTIFUL & WONDERFUL Pink Camera from her Beautiful & Wonderful - NACM family who she dearly misses, loves and cherishes!!!
Thank you all so much you are the best!
XOXOXoXOXOXOXoXOXo
Deanna

Reality Kicks "IN" as hair starts to come "OUT"

Hello all once again... Well, today the hair is really starting to come out! Realty is starting to kick in a little more. I am finding it every where from the back of the pillow to the banana pudding on the stove! Need to start really looking into the wig, scarf and hats now I guess... I did purchase a wig from ebay (you know me I can resist a bargain) it is a really nice wig however it looked a little darker than what it actually is! It has a lot of blonde highlights in it to where, well it is almost blonde. I am actually afraid of washing my hair! It is weird my scalp actually hurts a little almost like a tingly sunburn. I can run my fingers through my hair and get about 10-15 hairs at a time. Eyebrows and lashes still holding in there... Wow, I still can not believe that I have the big "C" word! There are times that I am still like "this is all to unreal"... But, I will hold my (bald) head high, I can and will get through this but really the only time that I truly hurt (the chemo, the injections, the pokes, the needles, the baldness that is nothing really) is when I look at my kids and what they think or have to say to their friends "My momma has cancer" or how they feel "How long will she be around for me?" I tell them and have always told them every day how much I love them and how special life is and not to take advantage of life and the things and people around them, to treat everyday as if it were their last or the person/people they love's last, not to grow up to fast, just to enjoy... I guess my main worry is them and will always be them. I just want to let them know that their mother is a tough cookie and if I can handle what I have handled in life so far well then I can handle this thing they call "cancer".

Happy Times!

Happy times! Yes, truly happy times!

Me and my pearls at Old Town

3/18 Hair Today - Gone Tomorrow!

Hello everyone... Well, today was a good day-I felt pretty good! However yesterday when I woke up I had a terrible headache and then once again this morning a headache not as bad but my scalp felt as if were sunburned thought oh no what next-I should have learned by now for all who knows me not to ask that question so, as I got ready for my appointment my scalp was just very tender. On my way to my 10 o'clock appointment I rubbed my head and well lo' and behold well there was hair (not a massive amount but just enough to call Emily and tell her the daily update) I knew this would happen they told me but I once again had another wake up call. I still am unable to believe that I am going through this. At times yes I get depressed but just try to keep a stiff upper lip and keep my head high! But am starting to get a little down now the whole hair thing is starting to kick in. But like Emily said to me "Mom I would us rather lose your hair - than to lose you"! What a smart girl / woman I have raised... My whole life has changed drastically lately that sometimes the realness kicks in! I am always grateful for you my wonderful family and friends. God bless you all!

My Friday Night Nuelasta Nightmare!

Hello All... Well, Friday night was a rough one for me. I had the effects from the Nuelasta injection (Neulasta® is a prescription medication that is licensed to prevent infections due to chemotherapy. By binding to stem cells and stimulating the production of certain white blood cells, the drug can help prevent bacterial, viral, or fungal infections. Neulasta comes as an injection that is given once per chemotherapy cycle. Possible side effects of Neulasta include bone pain, headache, muscle pain, and joint pain) that I had on tuesday - I thought "no side effects yet from that stuff - guess I am one of the lucky ones" 43% for pain and another 79% for the spasms or something like that - that do not experience the pain and muscle spasms... N O T!!! Me lucky? LOL Only with the friends and children that I have... Well it did finally rear it's ugly head from 2:00 a.m. - 5:45 a.m. I had to call the on-call Oncologist to tell me which pill(s) I could take and how many! The pain was worse than labor for you momma's out there and well for you men hmmm let's see how to describe labor ok take your top lip and try to pull it over your head! The pain was in my lower back and would thump thump thump with my heart beat and with each thump it would travel down to my hips and then to my legs!!! What a night. I took as prescribed 1 muscle relaxer, 1 Advil gel cap @ 11:30, and by by 5:00 could not take it anymore and called the emergency line and was told to take 2 Percocet, 1 more Flexeril along with 1 more Advil! I was out like a light! But man what pain. The cure for cancer I have learned hurts more than having it and the surgery! But man did I sleep hard! However Sarah had a ball game that day (we won - the score was a lot to a little I do not remember the exact number=SUCKY SIDE EFFECTS again LOL). Along with the racing thoughts and as you can see run on sentences... Better go for now.

My Milkshake

This is my best friend Deanna she is drinking a milk shake and as usual making me laugh. I miss her already! She and Hoops (her husband) were great therapy...

THE TRYING ON OF THE WIGS!

http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?source=ppsl&instanceid=105872199

Me and my new do!

Ugh what a picture!!! I had my haircut on 3rd! Chemocut! lol.. I like it though-it is cooler and easier to do! (NOTE: the port! A necessary-accessory is what I call it!)

03/11/08 For today

This pic taken the previous Saturday@ Cassadega
they look like their Mommy!

Hello all! Just sitting here once again at MD Anderson, 5th floor. Today is my Iron Infusion and my bi-weekly nuelasta injection. Here is how my day began... I had Dr's appointments starting @ 8:00, saw the Oncologist, 2 nurse practioners, credit/billing office, schedulars, another credit/billing lady, lab work, went up to see my father on the 10th floor, more lab work (thank goodness for that port), had to eat (some foods and drinks really taste bad to me and/or taste like metal!) and well here I sit eating chips, 1/2 chicken sandwich, apple/grape drink (usually my favorite but tastes like a battery would taste if we ate them... A little boring but savoring the peace and quiet. I am not used to my "me time" as of yet. I have been told to take the time to relax and sit still for once still adjusting to that. They will be giving me something they said that will relax me-here she comes right now... Yawn... (ok just woke up to Emily standing over me!-so glad she came) Dad is in the hospital still and is recovering pretty good. We were all a little worried there since he has lost a lot of weight (he is down to like 152). Thank you for reading up on me-I miss all of you (family & friends) Better go! Have a blessed day!

Deanna

My first day!

On my first day of chemo the doctor gave to me...
Hello all! Today is my first day of getting Chemotherapy.. Everything has happened so fast! But I am here and I know all will be good. Feeling pretty good mentally-however this back & neck pain is just terrible! A lil' sore still in the right armpit due to the lymph node removal and on the right from the port site... However mentally I am doing pretty good. As I mentioned above today is my first day of Chemo (wish I could have taken a pic but I will soon) I will be taking a pic @ a later date. Dylan & Michael are down stairs and let's get started on my day today:

Arrived at the Breast Care center to see Dr. Nikita Shah @ 8:00 as my schedule said but guess what that was rescheduled (no one told me!), anyway came to the 5th floor at MD Anderson, the nurse gave me a tour of the place, I was set in a room with 2 other people (room can accomodate up to 4-but if your lucky sometimes you may get a private room), I was given some juice (yummy Grape & Apple my favorite mix), the nurse "Mary" sprayed some spray on my port to numb it-it was really cold like freon, drew 5 vials of blood for blood work, they must do this to check all your blood counts, in order to see how much and how your doing before the Chemo treatment... Then I was given the go ahead for Chemo, Iron and white blood cells were still a lil' low but said that I should be ok... I was supposed to be given the Iron and white blood treatment first, but you know me I get and do everything backwards! I even did the surgery procedure in reverse (surgery then all the labs, xrays, procedures)! That is me one of a kind... Anyway I was then given a pill to help with the nausea "Emend", an drip in my IV for nausea also "Aloxi" and a steroid "Decadron"... Then the Chemo! One is red really red and one is white-and I am wearing blue (very patriotic today). I was given tons of paperwork, with instructions on meds, some snacks, juice, a lot more info on all that I have to look out for, and a lady just came in with a Labrador Retriever named "Susie" she is a cancer survivor also in remission for 4 years now! She has a "Bark Strong" yellow collar bracelet!!! TOO CUTE! Anyway all, I will keep you updated as much as I can - if not Emily will do so for me! Thank you all again for everything! God Bless!

Update: 02/28/08

Well, went to the Dentist today! Had to get another tooth pulled top back right! Was unable to save this one, need a root canal, bridge, and a cap still (GREAT)! Was told to get the root canal ASAP so as not to lose this one too... Bald and toothless? Ok can handle losing the hair but not my teeth!!! Need to get the work done though, because of the Chemo - I have been told by the Doctors that it may erode my teeth quicker... A little worried, but I know that I will pull through with my family and friends by my side! Tomorrow @ 6 a.m. I have to be at the hospital for the port to be put in... Kind of looking forward to this due to the fact that over the past 7 days I have been poked approximately 9 times! I met a lady at ORHS registration got to feel her port it felt like a roll of quarters underneath the skin. No worries about this procedure plus one perk I know that I will be put to sleep and will savor that resting period...

Thank you!

Thank you to Emily my beautiful daughter for all her love, care, help & computer technical skills!!!

From my NACM Family!

This was from my NACM family! It was sweet in more ways than one!

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